It costs you absolutely nothing to respect another person’s identity and use the pronouns for them that they prefer.

Not one red cent.

You accommodate a woman who marries and tells you whether she wants to be addressed as “Ms.” or “Mrs.” or by her husband’s last name or her original last name or just her first name. It may be a little complex, but you do it.

You use the title “Dr.” when a person earns that degree.

You want people to use the correct way of addressing you, don’t you?

I bring it up because, once again today, I was misidentified. I’m an old straight dude with a beard and long hair who has always identified as male. But the Walmart supervisor behind me at the self checkout asked me, “Do you need any help, ma’am?”

And when I turned, smiling, and she saw my beard, she blushed and apologized. “Oh, it’s you!” she said. (We’ve chatted amiably many times.) “I’m so sleep-deprived I don’t even know who I am today!” she added.

“It’s the hair; it throws people off,” I grinned. “Not a problem.”

(By the way, her lovely white hair is worn in a crew cut.)

It didn’t cost her anything to want to address me correctly; not a penny. And her kind, self-effacing apology quickly communicated that she respected that.

We don’t lose anything by respecting others. In fact, we stand to gain something by getting to know people and respecting them, even if we’re unfamiliar with how they see themselves.

We stand to gain a friendship.

We learn by listening, and we stand to gain a deeper understanding of and respect toward others — as, I would venture to say, we would appreciate others respecting and getting to understand us better.

And it literally costs us nothing.