The Vulcan faith is logical

though many of their rites

are ancient, biological

and held at mystic sites.

Good Romulans are wealthy

through Reman slaves and mines;

they value being stealthy

and cloaking their designs.

The Klingons swear by honor

and honor swearing, too.

Oppose, and you’re a goner

with howls respecting you.

Ferengi worship latinum

and being quite well-dressed.

Their enemies? They flatten ’em

unless they are gold-pressed.

El Aurians like listening;

their silence can perplex.

Humpback whales sing, glistening

while Deltans merge through sex.

Some species praise achievement

and if they don’t do well

they die from their bereavement

and hope to go to hell.

I’ve often told my Captain

diverse star-faiths are worth

becoming a Star Chaplain

– they’re fewer than on earth!