‘We,’ being the assuredly virtuous Christians of Little Rock, Arkansas, that is. ‘We’ got ‘our’ way! ‘We’ didn’t want any possibly-blasphemous trash to appear on ‘our’ network-affiliated television stations, so ‘we’ mounted a massive letter-writing campaign and got the maybe-vile television series The Book of Daniel removed from one! ‘We’ didn’t like the looks of the promo TV spots, so ‘we’ were convinced that this almost-certainly God-bashing series had to be stopped! ‘We’ were so righteous and powerful that ‘we’ were one of only two cities in the United States whose campaigns succeeded (the other one being the hometown of my late dad, Terre Haute, Indiana).
‘We’ were absolutely certain that the horror described by the prophetic Ray Bradbury in his classic tome Fahrenheit 451 had indeed come to pass in the form of this satanic series; that Jesus had indeed become simply a character in the simpering soap-opera ‘family’ of interactive television:
“Christ is one of the ‘family’ now. I often wonder if God recognizes His own son the way we’ve dressed him up, or is it dressed him down? He’s a regular peppermint stick now, all sugar-crystal and saccharine when he isn’t making veiled references to certain commercial products that every worshiper absolutely needs.”
‘We’ had no intention of seeing if the assertions made by the holy American Family Association were true by seeing even just the pilot episode for ourselves; no! ‘We’ might have been seduced by the evil of it; tainted and corrupted and forever damned! The mere possibility of such an abomination had to be nipped in the bud if not hewn down at the roots, so ‘we’ concentrated our letters locally and ‘we’ got our way!
Never mind that the local WB station picked up the series as soon as the local network affiliate dropped it like hot rocks! ‘We’ won a great moral victory! ‘We’ stood in the gap! ‘We’ sought the old paths, and cemented ‘our’ feet to them! ‘We’ stood ‘our’ ground against the moral depravity and empty self-censorship of Hollywood!
‘We’ had to!
‘We’ were absolutely led by God to!
Because there is a gay character in the series, and he is related to a man of the cloth!
Though, admittedly, it never occurred to ‘us’ to mount such a campaign against the truly vile filth that infests the airwaves with jiggling orbs of flesh; gross expressions of profanity, vulgarity and obscenity; tasteless and derogatory humor; glorification of greed and selfishness; no! Those are the items that Hollywood should have the good sense to remove from its own productions – and besides, if they did, there would be nothing left for ‘us’ to watch and shake our heads and say “Tch, tch, tch … what a shame.”!
‘We’ have done our part.
‘We’ have exercised our God-given right as Americans to protest and threaten and boycott and push and shove and economically influence and censor to His glory! ‘We’ have trounced Hollywood! ‘We’ have beaten Satan at his own wicked game!
‘We’ have removed the possibility of discussing this series over the water cooler with our working associates. ‘We’ have slammed shut the door to anyone who might have been willing to discuss the Son of God on Hollywood’s terms in some sort of jaded, invented, so-called ‘real-world’ situation that could never possibly happen (like a priest having a gay son)! ‘We’ have negated the opportunity to say to non-Christian viewers of this series, “Yeah, I watched it … and, frankly, I don’t think Jesus would have said that or acted that way, and here’s why ….”
Aren’t ‘we’ clever?