Everyone has times when faith grows weak.
I’m in one of those times. I’m in one of those times when faith seems less genuine and the One in whom I have faith seems less real and more distant.
I know better. I know what scripture says about how close He is. Close enough that unseen armies surround the prophet and his servant. Close enough that a soon-to-be-martyr can see Him on His throne and recognize His face. Close enough that the prime evangelist of century one can tell the polytheists of the Areopagus that He is not far from any of us.
I’m talking about feelings. And if He feels distant – like the old couple talking about why they don’t sit as close together in the car seat anymore – I know who has moved, and it isn’t the Driver.
I feel like I’ve slipped back into programmatic worship mode. You know what I mean. I’m talking about where you were before you began to realize that Sunday church inside the right building wasn’t the totality of Christian life, service and worship.
(You do know that, don’t you? I’m still pretty sure of it. But …)
I used to know and feel the same thing, and that thing was a life-direction pointed toward Him. It was a recognition of what He has done. It was a sense of gratitude and partnership and humility. It was growth and transformation and sanctification – being set apart for something worthwhile in life.
I remember that feeling.
So I can know enough to write the words, but I can’t feel enough to live them.
I can Facebook a little. (I don’t really care if I ever tweet again.) I can’t blog, though, because when you blog, your head and your heart have to be in it and in it together.
Right now I can’t go to a hill with scenes of fear and woe. I can’t go to the garden alone, whether dew is on the roses or not. I need to turn around and start back toward Him from where I am.
I need me some Psalms.
But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. ~ Psalm 73:2
He will not let your foot slip — he who watches over you will not slumber … ~ Psalm 121:3
When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your love, O LORD, supported me. ~ Psalm 94:18