I begin with my standard disclaimer: I am not a minister or pastor, nor do I play one on TV.
I work in a church office, but I am not employed specifically to share the gospel of Jesus Christ or tend the flock of the Great Shepherd. But I work with a good number of priceless ministers who are, and priceless colleagues who support them, and I just want to offer a few words of advice on the care and feeding of church leaders, whatever their titles: ministers, preachers, pastors, elders, shepherds, deacons, interns, and staffers.
- If your pastor says something you disagree with, keep it to yourself. Seriously. If it’s a difference of opinion over something which scripture doesn’t dare to touch (and scripture dares to touch a lot), then the guidance I’d suggest is ” … So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God.” (Romans 14:22a) And consider the possibility that you heard something you needed to hear; needed to be convicted by … in order for you to turn around and draw closer to God again.
- If your pastor says or does something that conflicts with scripture, go to your pastor. Not to someone over them or under them or beside(s) them. Go to them. Follow the steps: “… just the two of you … if they will not listen, take one or two others along … if they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church.” (Matthew 18:15-17) No shortcuts. No keeping it to yourself. No withholding of love or fellowship or willingness to discuss, listen, correct, reprove. You can do this kindly, lovingly, privately — in a way that does not affect your pastor’s influence — just the way Aquila and Priscilla did for Apollos, in their own home (Acts 18:26).
- If your pastor has something against you, go to your pastor. Now. Today. Don’t wait until Sunday when you bring a gift to God. Don’t expect Him to accept it when He knows you have something unresolved with your minister. “First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:24b)
- If you have something encouraging to say to your pastor, say it. “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” (1 Thessalonians 5) Do it often. Daily if you think they need it. And, again, don’t put it off until tomorrow. “But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today,’ so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” (Hebrews 3)Your church leaders and staffers find out thing about people … things they don’t want to know about. They don’t want to know because they love the flock and want to think the best of them. Sometimes they don’t feel comfortable even sharing this information with a spouse who also loves and cares for the flock. The wise ones share it with God and turn it over to Him and do what they can to comfort, admonish, and encourage the strays and the injured and the sick and the dying among the flock. They are not the hired hands Jesus talks about in John 10:12. They don’t run away; they stay with the flock at risk to their own safety and security.Their hearts break on an irregular but frequent basis — sometimes several times a week. Don’t overlook the ones who oversee you. Don’t fail to serve the ones who serve you. Don’t miss administering care to the ones who minister to others.
- If you have a pastor who imitates the Great Shepherd (who laid down His life for the sheep), thank God for your pastor. You have a treasure in your church family worth more than all you could ever afford to pay. So give what is due. “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.” (1 Timothy 5:17)
This is by no means an exhaustive list of admonitions from scripture — but it’s a great start. They’ll nourish any believer who does them or receives through them, church leader or not.
What we headstrong and occasionally brainless sheep fail to see, too often, is how famished and weary our pastors can become doing what they love for those they love to the glory of the One they love.
Feed the ones who feed the flock.
They’re trying to help Him look after your soul.
Blog In My Own Eye 
When you speak of pastors, you speak of elders, do you not?
If I say, “not exclusively,” will you un-friend me? 🙂
Pastors are simply those who look after the flock. Peter, for instances, was an evangelist, apostle and pastor (shepherd). Elders do this. Ministers do this. Preachers do this. Other church staffers do this. And members of churches themselves look after each other.
If we are to submit to one another, then sometimes we need to look to others as shepherds who are lovingly looking after us, whether they have a title or not.
All of those suggestions work in a relational setting Keith. My observation is that many with titles in the church don’t have relationships with many of their congregants – probably wouldn’t call them congregants if they did. 🙂
On the flip-side I think that it is a good idea to try to build a relationship with a titled person on staff (if that is possible) and encourage that person in the ways that you have mentioned.
Keith,
Great thoughts and wisdom! One of the more discouraging aspects of ministry is when I discover that someone in the church disagrees with me or didn’t like something I did/said through a third person. It is equally frustrating when people in the church allow themselves to be used as a third party and even, sometimes, foster such an environment of unhealthiness. On the flipside, some of the more rewarding pastoral moments have been where there was disagreement or dislike over something and the person(s) has come to me so that we could sit down together to discuss the matter.
Grace and Peace,
Rex
Have you ever been wrong, Rex? 🙂