Also known as Pharisee Syndrome. Patients often express that they have “done it” right; others are “doing it” wrong; specifically, that others have partied all their lives and should not be treated with another party, let alone party clothes and jewelry. They will often express gratitude that they are not like tax collectors.

The condition is more common than has been thought and is persistent. It is generally resistant to treatment and has a tendency to spread and deepen.

Symptoms: General lack of joy and cheer; puffiness around the ego; occasional reddening of the eyes and face.

Prognosis: Invariably leads to serious and sometimes fatal cardiopulmonary complications.

Treatment: Strong dose of gently-applied equilibrium. Difficult, as patients are often convinced that their Physician’s purpose is not to seek out and treat them, but others whose conditions are fatal.

See also “Penitent Prodigal Therapy” and “Kneeling Facedown Regimen.” (Self-applied thoracic compressive thrusts accompanied by verbal pleas for mercy may also be indicated.)